So...i've been meaning to start a blog for a LOOOOOONG time now! i have a lot going on and i really just need a place to put some of it down. i work full time as an rn in the operating room of a fairly small hospital in central florida...i'm a full time student at usf...i'm a wife & a stepmother...and i have 4, yes 4, dogs that remind me daily how we as people should be treating eachother...without the butt sniffing and surprise humping of course!!!
nursing is a huge part of my life...i work 50-60 hours a week between my regular hours, working late, and taking call...i'm considering a cot in our lounge!!! let me start my discussion on nursing as saying that i LOVE being a nurse...i just think that nurses are walked on and disrespected on a regular basis! I also love working in the operating room...it's definitely the environment in which i belong, it's my home...but i really don't like what i do as a circulator because it i do my job right all that i have to do is sit in the corner and document...how boring!!! and of course there's the part where EVERYTHING is my responsibility...i'm not so big on that part! but i thrive in the controlled environment and i live for rules and the "right" way to do things...probably because i'm a natural born worrier and the rules take part of the worry away! i frequently feel like my opinions and position as an rn are not respected...sometimes because i'm "just a nurse" and sometimes because i'm only 23 years old and most of the people who i work with have kids older than me...
on to feeling like i'm just the nurse...i have "just a nurse" days frequently...i really do know my stuff and it frustrates me to NO END when i tell the dr or the tech something and they tell me i'm wrong and do it their own way and then in the end it turns out that i was right! why don't drs listen to me? why doesn't my tech listen to me? is it because i'm just a nurse or because i'm young and they don't think i know anything? hmmm....this is one of the reasons i felt the need to blog...a way to get out some of the frustration without losing my job!
dogs...i wouldn't trade them anyday but sometimes it is difficult to have four of them! first there's princess...she came to me with that name...she's a medium sized mutt and a total spazz...i wish they made xanax for dogs! then comes roxy my rottwieler...she's the sweetest dog i've ever met and it's hilarious to me when people are scared of her! but she has severe hip dysplasia so i never really know how much longer we'll be able to keep her comfortable. then there's rusty...he's supposedly a pit bull who lives in our backyard and hog hunts in his spare time, when he's not king of my deck or the picnic table....rusty is gross...he's always dirty (even minutes after a bath) he's covered in scars...he's blind in one eye....he slobbers like crazy...and he'll hump you if given the opportunity! and last there's tank....our newest addition...he was going to the pound and i simply couldn't let that happen to him...although with as cute as he was at 12 weeks old he would have been adopted in no time...so he is terrorizing my house while i wait for him to grow up! i have never seen a puppy get into so many strange positions...into the dishwasher...on top of the dining room table...on top of the bathtub, he fell and turned the water on it was hilarious!
hmm....what else...i'm married to a wonderful man and marriage is everything that everyone told me it would be....good and bad! we try to spend time together but i feel like i'm constantly tied up with school and work lately!
as a step-mother i'm constantly questioning my role in my son's life and questioning my own actions. sometime i think it would be easier if he lived with us because i would be a constant in his life and not just there sometimes on the weekends. but i suppose what is important is that i do love him to death and want the very best for him!!! he's an amazingly smart 8 year old boy and i'm constantly worrying about him everytime he climbs on something because why? because i'm a worry wart! our week with him in the summer is coming up and i'm ridiculously excited to take him to st.augustine!
as a student...i think i'm crazy...why am i not happy just being an associate degree nurse? oh i don't know...but i'm not! so i'm one semester away from finishing my bachelor's in nursing...which i've decided is a complete BS degree as it is listed as a BSN....and most of my classes have been BS classes!!! but that has been much harder to keep up with than i imagined! i have a tshirt that says "nursing school is not for sissies" and i think that holds very true! i am beyond excited to be finished in december!!!
i'm really not quite sure how htis whole blog thing works yet...but i think i'll wrap this up for now and maybe work on telling you about myself some more later!
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